It was a while back when it happened.
She just left one day.
No word that she was leaving.
No note saying why.
No forwarding address.
I'm sure I must have done something to piss her off.
I have no idea what that could have been.
Of course, the male of the species never seems to be aware of the particular moment when that happens.
We only become aware in the silence that follows.
Perhaps I was just too much of a drain on her good nature. I do have a tendency to over do a good thing.
At first I thought, well, she’s taking a little time off. Everybody needs a little space now and then.
After the first week or so, I started looking for her. Then I started to get worried. There was no trace of her anywhere.
After a few months, I gave up hope and stopped waiting for her return.
More than a year later I have to assume she has found her way to the great hereafter and is never to return.
My Muse is dead.
Long live the muse.
She was nice while she lasted.
But deep down I know: the muse isn’t only gone, it never existed.
There is no muse.
There never was.
There was only me.
Me making the time to make the words come.
I am now well aware that the only way to get it back is to make that time again. To take that time in between everything else that is and will be, and force the thoughts from the dark recesses of my mind and out through drowsy finger tips into the wide open world of blogs to be.
Am I really ready yet?
Time will tell.
Laziness is a warm blanket of comfortable nothingness that is hard to pull off in order to greet the cold of creativity.
very well written! :) I like the part about pissing your muse off. I think that is what I did too, I went a whole month without a blog.
ReplyDeleteAs far as no muse in the first place, I somewhat agree. However, I do think there is some kind of inspiration or muse, if you must, but something that causes us to continue and develop an awesome piece of writing. Its a feeling, and I can feel it, can you? I believe in the muse, LOL :)
Sometimes I think the muse is one of those tricky things that lurk in the netherworld, occasionally stepping toes into our world, just to tease us.
DeleteSometimes it's just people we know. In my case. I think it was the readers I had over on myspace before it "improved to myspace 3.0", pissed everyone off, and they all left! I know they inspired a lot of blogging out of me!
It just seems to be one of those things that, once you stop, it's hard to get started again.
I'm all wrapped up in that lazy blanket - all toasty and warm. What used to come easy just doesn't show up any more. So, you say I have to set time aside and work at the words to come? LOL... OK... I'll try.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, Lee. I like this very much.
It's such a cozy blanket!
Delete'Tis easier to do nothing, than to try anything!
Good luck!
My poetry muse is AWL The reason is I believe that I mostly wrote dark poetry. My writing muse who I guess is a different one is sitting on my shoulder chattering like a magpie. I'd gladly lend him to you...I need a rest :D
ReplyDeleteI never thought about having more than one. That could explain a few things!
DeleteI do think I have a muse and I think he is very illusive. If I sit to write while my head is full of 'important' stuff, I'm doomed. Nothing worth reading will flow. If, however, I sit with what feels like nothing rambling between my ears, he will jump in there and make something fun or introspective appear! Yep, he's real and if he takes a vacation, and he does, it's because I have stuff to clear out of my somewhat limited memory bank.
ReplyDeleteLove this post...I'm pretty sure we all have multiple muses and some of them are real live people who just stimulate our creativity. don't ya think?
Hmmmm..maybe that's the problem; my brain sponge is full and can't soak up anymore ideas. I do believe that real people can be a muse, if not a downright inspiration!
ReplyDeleteI keep hearing a song in my head -- Xanadu.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com