Ring!
Ring! Ring!
“Hello?”
“Hey
Bubba, it’s Ralph.”
“Hey
Ralph. What’s up?”
“Hey,
I was just getting ready to head out to run some errands and was
wondering if you might wanna join me for breakfast?”
“I
was planning on staying in today.”
“Come
on old man, I bet you haven’t been out all week.”
“Two
weeks. But today is a good day to stay home.”
“Why?”
“It’s
Friday the 13.”
“Oh,
get over that silly superstition. Meet me for breakfast, I’ll buy.”
Bubba
mulled over the dangers of Friday the 13th
compared to a free breakfast. Staying home almost won.
“Gimma
about half an hour?”
“Okay.
Meet me at Cindy’s Corner cafe?”
“Sounds
good. See ya there.”
They
settled their rather large frames on the spinning stools at the
counter of Cindy’s Corner Cafe.
Bubba’s
big belly, hanging out like he swallowed a beach ball, brushed
against the edge of the counter.
“When
did these seats get so close?” Bubba asked.
“When
do you get fat?” joked Ralph.
“When
I got married. Getting married makes you fat.”
“Being
lazy makes you fat. Getting married makes it easier.”
Jenny
the waitress stepped in front of the two men. She pulled a pencil from the
mass of
tied up hair piled
above her head and
a pad from her slightly soiled apron. “What’ll it be, boys?”
“Eggs
and bacon and coffee for me.” said Ralph.
Bubba
looked up and said “Same for me, but add an order of biscuits and
gravy. With extra gravy.”
Ralph
glanced over at Bubba, smiled and said “And you wonder why the
seats are getting closer.”
Their
order placed, they sat and chatted for a bit.
When
the food arrived, Bubba reached for the ketchup,
knocking over the salt in the process. He quickly grabbed a pinch of
the salt and tossed it over his left shoulder.
“Hey
watch it!” exclaimed Ralph.
“Sorry,
just warding off any bad luck.”
“You
almost got it
in my eye. That would have been bad luck for me.”
“Better
you than me.”
Bubba
managed to get a good
grip
on the ketchup
bottle
and
smothered his eggs with it.
“That
looks disgusting. Looks like someone murdered
an egg your plate.” observed Ralph.
“Well,
I happen to like it.” Bubba stirred the eggs and ketchup
into a further mess before starting to shovel it into his mouth.
During
bites and sips of coffee, Ralph said “See? Friday the 13th
isn’t so bad.”
Bubba
rapped twice on the table “Knock on wood and good luck willing”
”That’s
Formica” muttered Ralph
“There’s
wood underneath.”
“It’s
probably particle board underneath.”
“There’s
still wood in it, ain’t there? Close enough.”
They ate their food and in between bites, sips, and swallows, they discussed this and that and nothing in particular. As promised, Ralph bought Bubba's breakfast.
Walking
out of Cindy’s Corner Cafe Ralph noticed Bubba avoiding cracks in
the sidewalk. “Really?” he asked, then gave a couple of playful
jumps on one of the cracks.
“Step
on a crack break your mothers back.” said Bubba.
“Well,
I jumped on a crack and it didn’t break my mothers back.”
countered Ralph.
“Your
mamma is dead.” Bubba reminded him.
“Yeah,
but it wasn't from a broken back.”
They
stepped around the corner to see a work truck with a ladder hanging
over the sidewalk. A worker in a bucket at the top end was working on
a power line.
Instead
of walking the few feet under the ladder Bubba walked all the way
around the truck.
Ralph
walked the few feet under the truck’s ladder. “See! Still alive!”
he mocked.
Out
of their sight the worker dropped a tool and it hit the power line. A
small lightning bolt shot out and barely missed Bubba’s left ear
before making a crack in the sidewalk.
“I
think I’ll go home now.” he said.
“Might
be for the best.” said Ralph.
Looking at this chart, I have to wonder about the 5% that don't know. They don't know if they are superstitious, or don't know what it means? Are you superstitious?
Did you, like me, have Elvis Presley's "Suspicious Minds" playing in your head while you were thinking about his weeks topic?
