Superstitous minds

 Ring! Ring! Ring!

“Hello?”

“Hey Bubba, it’s Ralph.”

“Hey Ralph. What’s up?”

“Hey, I was just getting ready to head out to run some errands and was wondering if you might wanna join me for breakfast?”

“I was planning on staying in today.”

“Come on old man, I bet you haven’t been out all week.”

“Two weeks. But today is a good day to stay home.”

“Why?”

“It’s Friday the 13.”

“Oh, get over that silly superstition. Meet me for breakfast, I’ll buy.”

Bubba mulled over the dangers of Friday the 13^th compared to a free breakfast. Staying home almost won.

“Gimma about half an hour?”

“Okay. Meet me at Cindy’s Corner cafe?”

“Sounds good. See ya there.”

They settled their rather large frames on the spinning stools at the counter of Cindy’s Corner Cafe.

Bubba’s big belly, hanging out like he swallowed a beach ball, brushed against the edge of the counter.

“When did these seats get so close?” Bubba asked.

“When do you get fat?” joked Ralph.

“When I got married. Getting married makes you fat.”

“Being lazy makes you fat. Getting married makes it easier.”

Jenny the waitress stepped in front of the two men. She pulled a pencil from the mass of tied up hair piled above her head and a pad from her slightly soiled apron. “What’ll it be, boys?”

“Eggs and bacon and coffee for me.” said Ralph.

Bubba looked up and said “Same for me, but add an order of biscuits and gravy. With extra gravy.”

Ralph glanced over at Bubba, smiled and said “And you wonder why the seats are getting closer.”

Their order placed, they sat and chatted for a bit.

When the food arrived, Bubba reached for the ketchup, knocking over the salt in the process. He quickly grabbed a pinch of the salt and tossed it over his left shoulder.

“Hey watch it!” exclaimed Ralph.

“Sorry, just warding off any bad luck.”

“You almost got it in my eye. That would have been bad luck for me.”

“Better you than me.”

Bubba managed to get a good grip on the ketchup bottle and smothered his eggs with it.

“That looks disgusting. Looks like someone murdered an egg your plate.” observed Ralph.

“Well, I happen to like it.” Bubba stirred the eggs and ketchup into a further mess before starting to shovel it into his mouth.

During bites and sips of coffee, Ralph said “See? Friday the 13^th isn’t so bad.”

Bubba rapped twice on the table “Knock on wood and good luck willing”

”That’s Formica” muttered Ralph

“There’s wood underneath.”

“It’s probably particle board underneath.”

“There’s still wood in it, ain’t there? Close enough.”

They ate their food and in between bites, sips, and swallows, they discussed this and that and nothing in particular. As promised, Ralph bought Bubba's breakfast.

Walking out of Cindy’s Corner Cafe Ralph noticed Bubba avoiding cracks in the sidewalk. “Really?” he asked, then gave a couple of playful jumps on one of the cracks.

“Step on a crack break your mothers back.” said Bubba.

“Well, I jumped on a crack and it didn’t break my mothers back.” countered Ralph.

“Your mamma is dead.” Bubba reminded him.

“Yeah, but it wasn't from a broken back.”

They stepped around the corner to see a work truck with a ladder hanging over the sidewalk. A worker in a bucket at the top end was working on a power line.

Instead of walking the few feet under the ladder Bubba walked all the way around the truck.

Ralph walked the few feet under the truck’s ladder. “See! Still alive!” he mocked.

Out of their sight the worker dropped a tool and it hit the power line. A small lightning bolt shot out and barely missed Bubba’s left ear before making a crack in the sidewalk.

“I think I’ll go home now.” he said.

“Might be for the best.” said Ralph.

 

 Looking at this chart, I have to wonder about the 5% that don't know. They don't know if they are superstitious, or don't know what it means? 

Are you superstitious?

Did you, like me, have Elvis Presley's "Suspicious Minds" playing in your head while you were thinking about his weeks topic?